Thumbs Down

Well, I missed the chance for an inspiring New Years Resolution post about how I'm going to try hard, rededicate myself and whip myself back into shape. Opportunity lost.

Truth is, I'm lukewarm on fitness right now and it all dates back to that catastrophic venture into a 6-foot-and-under intramural basketball league. One dislocated thumb/torn ligament really derails a fitness plan in a hurry.

In a few days, I'm going to see a specialist who will hopefully not (but likely will) advise me that surgery is necessary to repair the torn ligament I have in my thumb. If the doctor confirms my suspicions, I will elect to forgo surgery because I obviously know more than the dude with the PhD (slash I can't afford it). I will then wait until I have a job that offers health benefits and look into my surgery options. After that whole process plays out, I might be able to bench more than the bar-plus-10s on each side without excruciating pain, thus regaining my manhood.

(Note to self: remain positive)

In other news, Jason "I Might Like Food But I Don't" Cater and Terrance "Oh" Grady dragged my lazy/depressed/daydreaming-of-5-foot-10-160-pound-Asians-
landing-on-thumbs ass out of the house to run some dunes this morning. Good news: I didn't puke. Bad news: I didn't puke. It's a bittersweet workout. If you lose breakfast, you actually feel better for the rest of the routine. If you can't get it out, you feel nauseous for the next couple hours. My stomach is still turning (although that burger, fries and chocolate milkshake probably didn't help much).

I'm planning to incorporate swimming into future weeks. Terrance has convinced me that aquatic workouts are absolutely necessary to achieve my fitness goals. Why I yielded to his outlandish argument, I'll never know. Let's look at a case study of why Frank doesn't belong in the pool:

A) I'm a natural sinker
B) I don't do morning workouts (and Terrance wants to swim at 8 a.m...candy-ass I am)
C) Water + Winter = Cold; Frank + Cold = Bitter
D) I manage to get a cramp every time I go swimming
E) I complain a lot and swimming gives me more material to work with because it's a miserable sport (much like track...maybe this could work for me)

That was fun. Well, time to close this one out. Stay tuned for the continuation of my case study on why I don't belong in the pool.